If you stitch it (in public) they will come
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An artist-instructor friend advised me, as I was preparing my portfolio to apply to art school, that if I was planning to include images of my quilts and rag rugs and mosaic’d vessels, I should group these as Craft Use Objects.

I’m sure she didn’t mean it but the word ‘craft’ seemed to have a stink to it. And the fact that these items were for actual use (as opposed to useless?) was also a bit whiffy. I spent the following six years of fine-arts studies needling at the question, What’s the use of art?

I eventually found two good uses for creating exhibition-type paintings, sculptures, floorworks and fibre installations: making use of used, disused or misused materials instead of consuming new materials; and growing community through the gathering of those materials. I monkeyed around with job-site debris delivered by construction workers; broken toys from my sister’s kids and her friends’ kids; old embroidered linens, doilies and buttons from my mother’s friends and other artists; jeans from my brother and others; old paintings from my father; burlap coffee bags from the coffee-roaster; pennies from friends; and businessmen’s white linen shirts from, well, businessmen.

In the end it all boiled down to one three-word artist statement: Making is connecting. This is not an original idea and maybe a little obvious but it’s been my roadmap for creating ever since.
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Which brings me to “Shatter”, the title of my latest virtually/almost/nearly finished not-at-all-stinky Craft Use Object. (After many decades of making quilts I’ve decided that any quilts that are not direct copies of a pattern, that have taken on a personality of their own, deserve a title just as much as Artwork.) This one has emerged as a field of shattered circles, a project that shatters any expectations for this quilt and this quilter. It also relates to the times of its making, November 2024 to June 2025 — need I say more? “Shatter” is a cozy, slightly chaotic project that embeds silks and satins gifted by friends, as well as hours of focus, frustration and endurance, all in the service of creating the many meanings of comfort.

“Shatter” is an attention-getter. The pie-piece blocks of satin and gold top-stitching shimmer in the sun against the matte midnight-blue cotton background. It compelled some park visitors to comment as I bent over the binding. Nice quilt. I love quilts. Did you make this yourself? My grandmother was a quilter. I would love to learn to quilt. I found a great vintage quilt. Do you fix zippers? (Please stop asking me if I fix zippers.) By the end of the day “Shatter” was also the site of a long discussion with a friend broken up by her break-up. When all was said and done we stood up, hugged and I rolled up the quilt, the equivalent of seeing someone out of the office.
It remains rolled up, ready as another sunny, social setting or a cozy, tears-absorbent spot to stretch out on or curl up in.

Originally published on Substack earlier this summer.

It was quite the contrast to five years ago during my grad year when I had to fight the school’s installation technician to hang my final thesis work.

“What’s the point?” he said. “We’re shutting down, like, tomorrow.” The point, as every visual artist knows, is the photo-documentation for that fleeting moment of exhibition, especially fleeting in the hours before the pandemic lockdown. I pushed back on his push-back, he sighed dramatically and dragged the big ladder to the centre of the Sculpture Gallery.

I learned this need to be fierce and focused when it comes to displaying work from a moment of horror during my undergrad grad show a decade earlier.

I must have had a hunch that my installation might not go down as envisioned because I convinced my instructors to allocate me two final exhibit spaces since I had one foot in the painting department and the other in sculpture. The painting installation was easy: bang in two hooks, hang on wall. The sculpture piece was a little trickier. 

My dream was that those gallery-goers here for the sculpture, certainly a few internationally renowned curators and well-heeled collectors among them, would wander into my designated space in the third-floor room at the end of the long hall and stop in their tracks. What is this curious, lacy, bone-y floor installation?

Ah, I would say in a soft voice that I would still need to cultivate. I see you’ve noticed “Ravages.” A conversation would ensue. I would talk about my fascination with middens of bone and shell that hold clues to past and enduring Indigenous civilizations and cultures. I would speak to my own position as a settler descendant on this unceded coastal land, my anthropological curiosity awakened in high school that led to university studies in anthro/sociology. I would direct their eye to the use of found colonialist objects hand-crocheted in the round that evoke the fractal pattern of shoreline sandstone worn by time and event. I would link the distressed, chalky concretization of those abject objects to my immediate ever-changing environment of urban decay and hasty condo-tower construction, and my identity as a Mature Student trying not to feel like a decrepit bag of bones ha ha. You people get me!

Articulating the ideas in the making is an essential part of conceptual art studies and I spent weeks — months — thinking about how to talk about what I was making while scouring thrift stores for hand-made doilies and manipulating them in the sculpture lab to ossify with plasters then concrete thin-set. When that failed, I camped out in the mold-making shop mucking around with fibreglass and turning out copies of doilies in hardening acrylic too shiny so I coated them with gesso. Despite working under respirator my lungs complained and my skin erupted so when deadline hit for grad show submissions I went with what I had plus that large painting, a story for another time.

In the hours before opening night I assembled “Ravages,” propping some of the limp, cracking doilies onto each other house-of-cards style. The assembly was precarious but there was no breeze and I had a “Do not touch” sign beside the work so I went home to get fancified.

The main floor galleries were packed by 6pm, with people backing into dangling ceiling suspensions and failing to not step on floor installations. While my friends and family were preoccupied I slipped up to the empty third-floor room at the end of the hall. “Ravages” had collapsed into a pool of flat doilies like scraps from a factory floor. If it were not for the other students’ art I would have turned off the light and locked the door. Nothing to see here. I re-directed my people to the painting.

There is no photo-documentation of “Ravages;” some pictures are just too sad to take but here I am writing about it because there is a point in all this.
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Art school, I want to tell all those kids holding bouquets and posing with friends beside their work last week, is not the culmination of your art-making ability but just your art right now. Unless you have a marketable skill like illustration, animation or industrial design, chances are you are going to have to do something else besides making art to earn a living and that’s okay; a fine arts degree is not a meal ticket.

But the art will continue to mature if you stick with it. It will evolve as you grow through all the unexpected events. It will bring you solace when nothing and no-one else can, and unlimited joy when it’s the purest way you know to express yourself. You may decide to drop it when life becomes too much but it’s never over; you’re just fallowing, building up rich experiences for your next chapter.

As for the Covid-era ECU installer, his labour was not for naught; the school did indeed shut down right after he helped secure my three large-scale fibre artworks but I can boast that it’s the longest held-over show in the Sculpture Gallery, intact for the entire summer with no one inside to view it but the mice. I biked by the campus every once in a while where it was easily seen from the street through the two high walls of windows, a gallery-sized still life. I took photos of that.
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All three artworks have since been seen by more than mice in other exhibitions, with the latest being Classics Reimagined, a US-based online show of 30 mostly American artists. During another unexpected life moment, it’s the only way this outspoken Canadian gets to mingle with our besieged maker friends.

(Originally published Feb. 23, 2025 on Substack)

I made a bit of a scene when Friedrich Irrgang confirmed that he was retiring after 62 short years in the timepiece-repair business. And just what will become of my wristwatch that he’s been bringing back from the dead on an irregular basis?, I asked him. The inner workings are falling apart, he said in the kind manner of a veterinarian examining someone’s geriatric bag-of-bones cat. True, the watch was a gift for my 30th birthday which was not yesterday or even this century but to let go of the watch and this neighbourhood shop at the same time? That, Herr Irrgang, is a brücke too far!
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I know; this reaction was unbecoming for the full-grown woman that I am but the little personal losses are piling onto the big public losses like, say, faith in the future of democracy. It’s harder to counter the latest attack on societal norms with “At least” replies but I know I must stay positive, even when it comes to the small stuff! For example, instead of getting alarmed at my thinning hair, I can just go outside and brush out all my falling-out hairs for the birds to use for their nests! Or like when I spiral-fractured my arm but then turned the plaster cast into a model for sleeves I fashioned from dyed doilies. Lemons to lemonade!

Even my own painting disasters can bring me joy when I allow myself to fuck aroundexperiment with materials and ideas.

In summary: Less teeth-gnashing over what is lost or becoming lost; more creative engaging with materials and people; more investigating ways to transform the truly terrible; more joyful making in these perilous times.

When you spend a good portion of your winter cowering from the cold and the rain, it’s hard to fathom the fiery desert winds that are obliterating entire neighbourhoods just a three-hour flight south. In the near-real-time images and video only chimneys, mangled metal and concrete driveways hint at what used to be.

But then you notice the vestiges of palm trees, bougainvillea vines, laurel hedges, tufts of sisal and succulents. Before the last tendrils of smoke dissipate and the insurance battles begin, these plants hold the promise that buds and leaves will sprout and new colonizer species will emerge, boosted by an ashy soil. They are a reminder that whether it’s our perilous planet or our own contorting guts, flora heals.
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This front line in ground recovery is below the surface, a mycelium network of fungal lace that can erupt in reproductive spores, most noticeably after wildfire as a bright orange carpet of tiny caplets.

The squirrels that inhabit my head have been threatening to start a roller derby so I’ve shut it all down by doing something constructive: I’m literally wrapping myself up in my ongoing Perfectly Imperfect quilt project.
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I’m a construction team of one these dark days, bound up in binding together found satins, brocades and denim with cotton batting and mattress ticking. In this inherent need to make, I am a lady-in-waiting, making myself useful while the MAGA/Trump/tech-oligarchy snarl takes hold later this month.

I made my first quilt out of old bedsheets and pillowcases as a teenager for my little sister shortly after my mother gave me my first sewing machine and before I knew what I was doing. When my skills were adequate, I advanced to birthday and Christmas gifts and my own homey items like table runners and cushion covers, then moved on to crib quilts for babies, many of whose names I’ve forgotten and are now in their 30s, and for weddings for couples who are still together or have since divorced.
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Many moons ago an aunt gave me a spiral-bound notebook with a picture of a quilt on the cover so I used it to stuff in all the photos, notes, design sketches and written correspondence related to each project. I see this book now as a personal history of learning about pattern, colour and cloth. I try not to wince at the early projects in the way that you should not berate the kid you once were. That bulging notebook is as multilayered as the under-construction Perfectly Imperfect quilt. Both are useful, improvisational objects embedded with explorations in form and function, and memories of the endurance, joy, frustration, satisfaction and an acceptance that the maker herself is a work in progress.

If the person I share the bed with is to be believed, this morning (as of this writing) I announced in my sleep: “I’m sorry we’re going to martial law again.”

I have only a dim notion of what martial law entails. I’m also not sure if this ‘sorry’ is in the Canadian sense, as in “Sorry bus full” on the rush-hour B-Line that really means “Suck it up, buttercup.” Or is it regret that martial law is again here? In any event, I’m impressed that my id (if you’re a Freud follower) even has a notion of the word ‘sorry.’
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I assumed this bit of sleep babble was a call to end this seasonal distraction or maybe our collective distractive state in general. I admit I am worried about my own eroding focus exacerbated by the commercially- and politically-corrupted internet. And I’m not alone; half of US adults are getting their newsbits on TikTok, part of the bombardment of unrelated snippets of (mis)information from maybe humans but increasingly AI.

Over the years I have developed a near-obsessive way of working to evoke a seductive, unsettling visual field, somewhere between pretty and pretty distracting. This laborious process immerses the body in the subject while opening up time and space for the mind to consider some questions like: Are American reporters putting themselves in danger by exposing white supremacy groups? Is it safe to be trans in a small US town? Will women run the risk of more hate and harassment as the top trending phrases, “Your body, my choice” and “Get back to the kitchen” spread online? Is Canada the next alt-right nation? I’m concerned that as long as we’re preoccupied by our next Amazon orders to be fulfilled, or wasting hours killing foes in Call of Duty or dreaming of a career as an influencer, we’re not seeing some harsh political realities coming soon to a White House near you.

I wish I could be content to paint pastoral scenes or voluptuous florals that people would actually want hanging on their walls but this is where I’m at. I lose myself in this work of painting acrylic skins, slicing them into razor-sharp edges and right angles, then positioning them, layer after layer with tweezers and brayers, building and negating grids until my eyes start to cross and my back seizes up. And as the old song goes, I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
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I’m starting to think that my martial-law proclamation is directed at my own obsessiveness and toward good orderly direction. We’re all going to need that kind of focus in 2025.

I don’t actually own an outdoorsy sweater. I have various rain-repelling jackets and coats and pants and some base layers spun from plastic pop bottles: ‘outdoorky’ gear, mostly in sensible black. Yet it occurs to me that since I have competent needleworking skills I could design something completely unique and unsensible: a vibrant visual statement! A colourful conversation-starter!

I’ve knit several sweaters in my time while commuting by bus and SkyTrain across four municipalities during four years as a reporter at a suburban newspaper. They were mostly derivative of the ‘Doctor Huxtable’ sweaters, more not-bad than bad-ass, for my man at the time. They were not keepers.
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I have just one of my own: Logo Sweater, made in the months before the 2010 Winter Olympics here, to test the extents of corporate copyright and appropriation of the traditional Cowichan sweater design.

What I’ve decided after those years of increasingly complex sweater-making is that knitting, as a creative action, suuuuuucks.

In my hands, the knitting needles are tools trying to perfectly emulate what a machine can — and does — do: create perfect loops upon perfect loops on rows upon rows, stuck in a matrix, so mindless you can do it blindfolded or watch movies at the same time, which I guess is the appeal. It’s a laborious endurance; you can binge every Grey’s Anatomy episode and you still might not get that baby blanket done.

I’m with the hookers. Could knitting needles have created the hyperbolic-crocheted Spore from a 24-foot-by-28-foot deteriorating plastic tarp I dragged out of the forest? Or this other version in found fibre-optic cable? I’d like to see knitting needles try working up these tight mathematical models of hyperbolic growth.

Just one agile hook is all it takes to create fast, improvisational and three-dimensional objects. It can be a meandering journey through rows of neat little stitches that erupt into large saggy loops before settling down the side in thick ribbing then circling back to the beginning. How about a curly lettuce frill here? How about stitching up a rose?
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How about a few Roses Against Violence? Since that fun little project was introduced by an Austrian artist in 2018, crocheters have been tagging street infrastructure all over the world with purple roses with a message to stop gender-based violence.

I am inspired by this outrageous aesthetic overlooked in the West Coast crafty counter-culture of the late last century. It has me mining my own memories of a fuzzy milieu of crocheted granny squares and afghans.
I googled “duster” and “granny squares” and there it is:

Not a word of a lie: As I type this last sentence, a loud crack of thunder rattles the place. I unplug the laptop.

Wait — is this grandmacore? Comes a time when the specialness of the old-lady look is lost when it’s worn by an old(er) lady. Any attempt at personal flair might read more ‘picked out of my seniors’ centre lost-and-found.’

So grandmacore is to be avoided. Also cottagecore, a baffling combo of simplicity and clutter. And definitely not the froufrou fairycore as there is no occasion when I will be attaching little wings to gauzy day dresses. Apparently (according to a handy online quiz) I relate mostly to the earthy goblincore. I do appreciate swamps and lichen and tree-trunk hidey-holes. But mushrooms have the feel of phlegm on my tongue so I will not be adorning my clothes or livingspace with any manner of those.

I was still visualizing a calf-length duster of earth-toned granny squares when the rain started firing against the windows like birdshot. So much for sweater weather.

I’m just kidding about the hat; we Westcoast Canadians have umbrellas for that, at least for a solid seven months out of the year (and we wonder why we’re considered a reserved lot). I trashed the hat shortly after parading around in it for a little levity during Lockdown 2020. In retrospect, ridding myself of the wide-brimmed artwork was overly aspirational. I was obviously oblivious to the power of airborne illnesses to return like that damn leak in my studio every time it rains.

The joke’s on me these days. Embracing more social-distancing practices could have saved me from the cold/flu thing that hit Labour Day weekend and settled into my bottom right lung as pneumonia by month’s end. I did take general precautions: stayed home or sequestered in my leaky studio when I was feeling poorly; bowed out from gatherings and even coffee-shop meetings; took four of the reliable at-home COVID-19 tests over the course of this cough, even doing the whole thorough gaggy throat-scrape method. When they came out negative, I went back out into the world. I was sick of the social isolation.

I was so ready to re-gather with friends that I willed myself to not notice that all the women pushing the dim-sum carts were in masks, even as I barrelled past them to go outside for a coughing fit. I did take advantage of courtesy hand-sanitizer pump bottles at the entrance of shops and public buildings but I did not, would not see the masked-up cashiers, receptionists, servers, tellers and baristas as a sign that I should be following suit.
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For the record, I was an early mask-adopter even before the spring of 2020. I saw more foreign-exchange students at art school masking up as early as January, and by the end of February, many weren’t coming into class at all. Seeing people in masks was normal to me since my 20s when I lived in Japan, where several commuters in any given train car were masked up, even little kids. When I moved back to Vancouver I lived near Chinatown where masks on faces are commonplace. So by the time the mask mandatehit I was already on it.

New modular building blocks create a visual for more humane density
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I blame my dream-home fantasies on that OG influencer Martha Stewart.
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When the thick, slick Martha Stewart Living was queen of the magazine racks I was there for the Crafts: the rustic doorstop animals made of French linen tea towels; the velvet lavender sachets for drawers and for gifts. Soon I was sucked into the glossy paper vortex of step-by-step tableaux of Martha — in cropped jeans and crisp Oxford shirt — engaged in various Good Things like washing her paned windows using vinegar from a glass sprayer or sweeping her freshly-painted porch with a birch-twig broom. I was led to believe that people who weren’t already trained pastry chefs or architects could create the Halloween gingerbread haunted mansion, and that one day I too would have a fireplace mantle to display handmade snowglobes nestled between mason jars of glittered cedar boughs dangling with tiny crocheted snowflakes. Never mind that my wreath of pinecones tied with tartan ribbon and tacked to my apartment door wasn’t adding any rustic Christmas vibes to the purple-and-teal common hallways. This was all temporary.

Because when it comes to affordable housing in this town, things can’t get worse (barring, of course, the imminent earthquake a.k.a. “The Big One”). According to one report, last year Vancouver’s median home price was more than 12 times the median household income, making it the third most expensive housing market in 94 cities around the world. Many of the investment units in Vancouver’s soaring glass towers are now languishing on the market, because even if they were affordable, “home” does not conjure up visions of 35 floors of stacked 500-square-foot rectangles with one wall for windows and no outdoor space.
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The customizable building blocks are an attempt to provide an option to this modern-day warehousing of humans, a step toward addressing the missing middle between standalone houses and condo towers. They were developed following recent zoning changes that allow three or four units on the standard city lot, to the horrors of NIMBY owners in those single-family-home neighbourhoods and to cheers from developers. To curb design and construction costs and expedite the permitting process, the limited options of modular blocks are basic. One shows two bedrooms with a shared bathroom. The common-area block shows a surface that is both dining table and kitchen island with sink, with the rest of the kitchen along one wall. No balconies are indicated and there are not a lot of windows. Every unit shows stairs.

On the upside, they are connected to the earth and integrate into established communities. They open up the possibility of having a baby, aging in place, living with or beside other relatives or families of choice. They are the kind of home that might incline a crafty type to collect pinecones from the mature trees in those longstanding neighbourhoods and glue-gun a wreath to hang on the front door. 
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It’s a Good Thing.

I am with my people here: the grandmothers who sew Christmas-gift pajamas, the goths, the quilters, the film and theatre set designers, the dance-gymnastics girls, the fashion-school students, and more recently, Pride paraders, Halloween costumers and cosplayers. Moving through those jammed aisles of colour and pattern revitalizes the brain, especially in our soggy, dark mid-winters.
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I have a long history of ruining homemade garments made from my purchases at Dressew. I blame this on the tedious, mandatory Grade 8 girls’ sewing class designed to turn us into skilled workers or housewives. So when my community-college-student budget demanded I make my own nightclubbing “look” and wedding-guest frocks, I took an improv approach, using the cheapest $2/yard “100% unknown fibers” fabrics that smelled as flammable as they looked. I was lured by the big books of “Make it tonight!” Butterick, Style and Simplicity patterns and when this timeline proved unlikely, I’d game the instructions by swapping, say, a long back zipper with self-adhesive Velcro, or cramming in some thick shoulder pads to try to give shape to my latest sagging acetate atrocity. I don’t have photographic evidence of the voluminous emerald taffeta dress with the watermelon-sized sleeves that I wore to a cousin’s wedding but I can see in the snapshot of the baby-blue Cinderella-style dress at another wedding that I didn’t see ‘fit’ as an area of concern.
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Nevertheless I persisted! I dreamed big, undeterred by minimal skill and patience or my wonky sewing machine that I dropped on the floor more than once. These projects were doomed to fail, like the grey pin-striped double-breasted suit for my university boyfriend who actually wore the blazer for a while but who was also likely relieved that the trousers never materialized. And I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to all those unwilling children in my life who endured the double humiliation of being gifted one of my hand-sewn polar-fleece hats and posing for a photo in it for their mother’s thank-you note.

The magic of that store is in the endless possibilities and I always left with hope in my heart that this time I will read the directions. I will take breaks. I will use pins. I will find scissors that don’t chew the fabric. I will not view interfacing as optional.
I eventually redeemed myself as the family-and-friends’ Halloween costume-maker, taking the bus downtown with one kid or another while conferring over their concept drawing that I assigned to weed out the uncommitted. They also had to help cut, sew, glue and paint as required, so I wouldn’t take all the blame for shoddy workmanship.

The imminent demise leaves me — us — in the lurch. Shopping by the hand-feel (and smell) of fabrics, yarn, fun fur, trims, felt, wigs, and all the strange liquidation items is an in-person experience in the energizing milieu of other creatives. So now what? Will next year’s Halloween costume missions now take place around the ol’ iPhone peering at fabric images on Amazon, not really knowing what will show up as we hit ‘Add to cart’?
That’s a hard no. Sorry kids.